I published my first two blog posts on Wednesday, September 16, 2020. I wrote new blogs faithfully every week after that, in the middle of the week. But last week I did not write any new blog at all. "So what happened?" you may be wondering. Well, I'll tell you what happened, albeit somewhat sheepishly...
Let's backtrack first to a couple months ago. It was then that I realized one day that some tiny little creatures, commonly called bedbugs, were sharing sleeping space with some of my children. Ugh! But nevertheless, I went to work with vigor and enthusiasm to get rid of those nasty little creatures. After about one week of hard, persistent work, I felt quite confident that my house was once more bedbug free. Then last week one night, as I was getting into bed, I found a couple of those detestable little creatures on the headboard of my bed! I had cleaned out part of my room that first time, but not very thoroughly because I didn't really think that they could possibly have spread to my bedroom. But obviously I was wrong. Ugghhh!! I was frustrated. No, let me be totally honest -- I was MAD!! I was angry with the original owner of the house for leaving me her bedbug infested mattresses, and I was mad at myself for not being more thorough the first time I had tried to get rid of them. And I was just mad that this could have happened to me and my family.
But, angry or not, I forced myself to start the whole process over. Work, work, work. I went to bed each night exhausted because of all the hard work I had done, yet wishing I had been able to accomplish more. Each night I went to sleep thinking, "What if some bugs come out of the places I haven't cleaned yet while we are sleeping, and go to the clean places?" And I freaked out more than once when a mosquito stung me during the night, because I thought it was a bedbug!
Then one night, after almost a week of hard work, my body couldn't take it anymore. Both my hands had been getting numb off and on during the day, and I had had to massage them and flex them to get the feeling back in them. But that night something worse happened. I felt a sharp pain in my chest. I asked my husband to massage my shoulder and neck, thinking it might be a pulled muscle. But as he massaged, the pain only got worse. It was shooting into my back as well. When I tried to lie on my left side the pain became excruciating! When I coughed, the pain was so bad it brought tears to my eyes. Finally, shortly after one o'clock in the morning. I was able to doze off.
When I woke up the next morning (which was yesterday morning) the pain had subsided somewhat, but I knew for a fact that I could not expect to continue my de-bugging. My body was stiff and sore, and I felt the pain in my chest each time I leaned over, expended any amount of energy or even took a deep breath. I realized my body was over-worked and I had maybe 50% of my usual energy. "Now what was I going to do?" I thought with panic."In a couple months time, will I see some more bedbugs in another part of the house, because I had not finished cleaning everything?" But I realized that even if that were the case, there was nothing I could do about it.
After some reflection while lying on my bed that morning, I realized with a pang of conscience that I had done very little personal devotions during my frenzied week of de-bugging the house. So I decided that since I didn't have the energy or good health to continue the work that day, I would spend some personal time with my Father in heaven. I took my Bible, and went upstairs to my little "meditation room" ( a very small room the size of a walk-in closet). I began to pray, poring out my lamentations to God. I asked God, among other things, for guidance with this frustrating situation. And do you want to know what verse God brought to my mind? Matthew 6:33: "But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." Wow. That was an eye-opener for me. Yes, bedbugs are annoying, frustrating, anger-inducing, and can even wear one's body down if one tries to get rid of them all at once, But I needed to make sure they weren't messing up my priorities. They can even reduce one to tears at times. But I should not let them ruin my vision or my focus in life.
Seek first God's kingdom. Make it your primary goal to obtain righteousness and live a holy life. If you have some bedbugs in your life right now -- maybe not the little black ones that try to live in your sleeping mattress and cause you to itch, but some other unpleasant, exhausting, or frustrating problem that is invading your life -- then I want to encourage you. Keep on dealing with that problem. I believe you can do it. Cry if you feel like it. Yell if it helps. But whatever you do, remember that seeking God's kingdom and His righteousness in still number one priority. Praise God -- there will be no bedbugs in heaven, or anything that those bedbugs might symbolize for you. There will be no tiresome work either, or tears, or frustration, or sadness. There will be only eternal joy and gladness. May that motivate us and soothe us when times are tough.
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