Was Blind But Now I See

     I cannot know for sure, but I am guessing that at the very top of any blind person's wish list would be to be able to see. I have been asked the question before, if you had to choose between sight and hearing what would you choose? I know my answer would be sight. I don't want to minimize the huge loss that deaf people have to deal with, but for me I think losing my sight would be even worse. How lonely and scary it must be to forever be shut in darkness and to have to grope your way around to find things.

    I wonder, do we sincerely long for and desire spiritual sight? Do we realize how often we are blinded by lack of faith and grope around in spiritual darkness? John chapter nine is a difficult passage to grasp. I do not claim to understand it well even yet, but one point that I do get is that many people claim to see yet are actually blind, and that there are some who realize how blind they would be without Christ, and so really see. In that chapter, a young man blind from birth was healed by Jesus. He received what he had probably longed for all his life -- sight -- from Jesus. But he does not truly begin to "see" until he says, "Lord, I believe" and then worshiped Jesus (verse 38). Then Jesus gives a profound statement: "For judgement I have come into this world, so that the blind will see and those who see will become blind" (John 9:39). 

    I knew a blind man before. He was not so fortunate as the one in John 9 who received his sight miraculously from Jesus. But it didn't matter. While he was on earth, he saw things many others did not see. And now he has 20/20 vision in heaven. "Father Matheos" as he was called by everyone, was an inspiration to me. It is not quite clear if he was blind from birth, or if he became blind because of an early childhood illness. But one thing is clear, he didn't remember ever having been able to see. Life must have been very tough for a blind boy from a poor village on a poor island. He lost three siblings while he was still young and on top of all that his parents divorced. Young Matheos was left with mom who had to try and earn enough money to feed herself and him. It would have been hard enough living in his shoes without having been blind, but on top of it all he was also blind! But he was taught about God, and about forgiveness of sins through Jesus Christ, and he simply trusted that his Father in heaven would take care of him. 

    As an adult, Father Matheos lived in the city of Kupang, where he had built a house for himself, and he massaged tourists in nearby hotels to make a living. He regularly went to his little hometown on the island of Sabu to recruit under-privileged kids to take back with him to Kupang where he helped them get an education. Some of those kids' school fees were paid by their parents if they could afford it, but many came out of Father Matheos' own pocket. All told, before Father Matheos died, he had had 36 village kids live with him at some point in their lives and at the very least he influenced their character and walk with God, while a large percentage of them actually got an education. Why did he do it, we ask. Well he had a vision. He himself had not gone far with his education but he knew that learning to read and write would help these kids to read the Bible, know about God, and live a more productive life for their families, their churches, and their communities. So he preferred to eat plain rice and vegetables and live in a simple louse made of palm branches and palm leaves so that he could make a difference in their lives. And he knew that this life was not the end but that he would have a beautiful, eternal life later anyway.

    As Father Matheos grew older it was discovered that he was suffering from diabetes. He struggled with it until he died. His simple trust in God always amazed me. I knew he couldn't possibly pay his doctor visits and medicine with his meagre and often sporadic massaging money. So I began to give him money after church on Sunday when I knew that he needed to go back to the doctor that week. He was very grateful and would report back to me the following Sunday how it had gone. But one day there was an emergency. He was very sick and knew he had to go right away to the doctor. So he had one of his kids lead him to the doctor's office. He saw the doctor, who checked him over and gave him a prescription for more medicine, and then Father Matheos calmly explained to the receptionist that he didn't have enough money to pay at the moment. He explained that he knew a lady whom he was certain would pay it as soon as she found out about it. And the amazing thing is, the people behind the desk who heard the story simply smiled at him and gave him the help he needed! 

    Father Matheos often did not know how a thing could be possible, but he did not seem to worry about it. He believed that his Father in heaven was watching him and would care for him. And so he continued to be obedient to God and to faithfully serve, despite the appalling circumstances that he found himself in. My question to myself and to us all is, do we "see" like Father Matheos did? Do we long for spiritual sight with an intense longing, as blind people long to see with their physical eyes? Let's sing this song again with renewed understanding and fervor:

Amazing grace! how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me!
I once was lost, but now am found,
Was blind but now I see...

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